I Need You Here With Me
by free4fallin
Summary: A Sirius/OC one shot that I wanted to make for sometime. Lillian wants to fight alongside Sirius, but he doesn't want her in such a dangerous position. A one shot based on their 'argument'.


'It's not safe out there' he said in a low, rough voice, grabbing onto my arm with what I presumed was with more force then he intended.

'I can take care of myself, I'm a big girl' I pointed out, trying not to get angry at him. I pulled my arm out of his grip and I could feel his shock in the silence that followed, taking notice of the red mark on my arm and the roughness at which he had treated me.

'What if something happens to you?' he asked, the anger disappeared completely from his voice and replaced with raw fear and vulnerability that made my heart clench.

'Sirius, how do you think I would feel if something happened to you?' I whispered, saying my biggest fear aloud. Ever since we left Hogwarts, Sirius had his mind set on fighting and I knew from the beginning that it would end up like that, because once he was his mind set to something, it doesn't waver. 'I want to fight with you' I pleaded. At first I was hesitant, did I really want to put us both in that kind of danger? But as we got more and more into the war, and people I knew started disappearing, I became determined to fight. The only problem was that Sirius refused to accept my wish. His dark eyes watched me intently, pain evident in them, and a piece of his getting-too-long hair was covering his eye in a way that made me jealous of his beauty and grace, something I was never able to achieve as effortlessly as him.

'There's a war out there Lillian, a war with pain and death. I can't lose you.' He stepped towards me, his eyes not wavering from my face in a way that made my cheeks heat up.

'I can't lose you either' I protested, staying still as he took another step forwards, standing so close that I could see the tiny freckles that dusted his nose, only obvious to those who spend enough time gazing at him to notice the little details like the light brown specks in his left eye, the birthmark that was right above his left eyebrow and the way his mouth always seemed to be upturned at the right corner, especially when he smiled. I noticed these things, I kept this knowledge in me like secrets, like trophies, showing that only I spent enough time with him to gather this kind of information. Soon he was standing so close to me that I had to raise my head to look him in the eye. He always stood towering over me, the top of my head not even reaching his chin, and his muscular build covering me in a way that made me feel protected at all times. 'I feel safe with you' I muttered, coming to the realization slowly as I looked away, deep in thought.

He frowned 'What?' and tilted my chin so that he could look me in the eyes

'I feel safe with you, like nothing can ever happen to me because of you.'

I heard his sharp intake of breathe before he pulled me closer to him, tightening his arms around me and holding me in his comfortable, warm embrace. 'God' he breathed, tickling the top of my head 'I wish I could protect you from anything, because I sure as hell would. But I can't, and although I would risk my life to save you in a millisecond, that's not always good enough.'

I softened in his arms, my anger completely gone as I heard the rawness of his voice. He loves me, I thought to myself. He wants me to stay safe. 'I'm just not the kind of person to sit back and watch the people I love put themselves in danger' I confessed.

I felt his chest vibrate as he let out a low chuckle 'I know'

'I'll just be constantly worried about you if I stay here' I pointed out.

'Nothings going to happen to me' he said in an almost patronizing tone, most likely because he had repeated that argument so many times.

'You're not invincible Sirius' I sighed.

I could almost feel him roll his eyes and he kissed the top of my head 'Like hell I'm not, I can't be destroyed' I pulled away from him to see a goofy grin on his face, not matching the frown apparent on mine. His smile disappeared once he caught sight of my disappointed 'Lillian' he said my name like a plead for his case. He pulled me tighter, but I kept my body stiff, not ready to forgive him for joking around when I was almost in tears.

'You don't care how I feel' I muttered, blinking to keep the tears in my eyes.

'Of course I do' he said in surprise

'Well if I was to stay home everyday and not know if you were going to come home that night I would feel heartbroken and anxious and scared all day'

He sighed and rested his chin lightly on my head 'I would feel like it was my fault if you were to get hurt, or if you-' he cut off, his words getting caught in his throat and he let out a small croak of pain, imagining that situation.

'It wouldn't be your fault Sirius' I said gently.

'Yes it would, I'm supposed to keep you safe' he insisted 'I need you here with me'

I felt a tear run down my cheek and sniffled slightly, but Sirius heard and pulled away, his eyes softening into chocolate as he caught the tear with the most gentle swipe of his thumb. It always amazed me, how he could go from furious, his eyes hard chips of ice and his jaw set, and stance stiff and large and his voice rough and scary and then go to vulnerable. His eyes softer than anything I have ever seen, letting me in them and letting me into his mind, something that didn't happen very often, his stance became warm and inviting and his voice became soothing and small.

'I'm sorry for being difficult' I confessed in a small voice, suddenly feeling guilty for putting him in such a hard spot. A small smile appeared on his face and as usual, the right corner of his lip lifted slightly more than on the other side

'I understand where you're coming from Lilli, it's just not a job for you. You still haven't even mastered your protection spells, let alone half of the curses useful in battle.'

I nodded grudgingly, accepting that that was true 'You have to promise me you'll come home every day'

He leant his forehead on mine 'Promise' and pressed him lips softly to mine.

I responded with equal intensity, realizing that he was a much better dueler than me, and if I was out there with him he would be constantly on edge and trying to help me, or see if I was safe. He would be able to take care of himself much better if he wasn't worrying about me.

'I love you' he murmured 'and I want to spend the rest of my life with you' I smiled slightly into the kiss, nodding my head in absolute agreement.


End file.
